Wednesday, March 26, 2008

How everything instantly started to suck! REALLY SUCK

So yeah, it all can really, REALLY, suck. Why I believe this to be true, well I know this to be true.

About a week and a half ago, my sister in law went into labor, 2 months early. Bindi, the baby girl's name, was born with the knowledge that she wouldn't survive. Deprived of oxygen while in the womb for too long did too much damage.
But however you go about it, whatever you try to rationalize this tragedy, which it really is, there is just no way to wrap your mind around it. The only explanation for what happened is 'fluke'. There is nothing that could've been done to prevent it from happening and I think, at least for me, that is the only reason why I can more or less accept it. The fact that she lived for almost a day. The fact that I've been put in the position to say my goodbyes to her, and not just me, but all around her. Makes it bearable, if such a thing can be bearable.
The next thing that really sucked was the immense grieve my brother and my sister in law where experiencing, as were the grandparents. All of them. Seeing their grieve is unbearable, especially since there is nothing one can do about it. There is no way to help them get around it. There is no way to help them wrap their heads around it. That, now, REALLY SUCKS.

Last week we cremated Bindi, in if there is such a thing, the cremation was wonderful. It was small and intimate as it should have been.

Bindi: In just a single moment, You earned a place in all our hearts.


Wednesday, January 09, 2008

December, the month of holidays and illnesses


Like I blogged last time, it would be after our trip to the US before I would blog again, and as it turns out, I was right and it is even 'next year'.

So what happened lately. Well first of all we went to our friends Ravi and Mamatha in the Boston area. This was on December 7th, the Friday after Sinterklaas. By the way, Sinterklaas, the Dutch equivalent to Christmas' Santa, was very generous this year, especially for the kids.

We flew at around 3 PM from Amsterdam airport, Schiphol, and because it was in the boy's prime time, they didn't sleep... for the whole flight that is. Fortunately they're both really well behaving boys when it comes to not sleeping, so hardly any crying and a lot of flirting with the North West Airlines stewardesses. It is always a really big benefit when your kids aren't pestering the rest of the plane and the in flight personal loves them. Trust me, it is. Ray needed his diaper changed pretty much right after we took of the ground and believe me, his diaper wasn't the only thing that needed changing. He'd overspend as much as Olcay and I were planning to do in the outlet stores. Fortunately Olcay had been so smart to take additional clothes along in our carry-on luggage, it was needed. Apart from the kids not sleeping, the flight was rather uneventful. We were picked up from the airport by Ravi and his family and drove to their place. As it had snowed, Jay and I played in the snow for a bit and because he didn't want to wear his gloves he found out the hard way that snow is indeed cold.
It was good to see our friends again, as it had been almost two years since the last time we visited them. Scary fact: Jay was 10 months old when we came to Boston with him, and Ray just turned 10 months when we flew there this time. Coincidence? I don't know.
That Monday or Tuesday Mamatha found out that she had pneumonia and needed to take antibiotics and stay inside. As it was really cold and everybody, especially Jay and Ray, needed to rest and get into a new rhythm we stayed around the house. Ravi had to work anyway. Tuesday and Wednesday Ray and Jay both were feeling not to well, probably because of the lack of sleep, the new daily patterns and the fact that the temperature outside was well below freezing point and inside it was nice and warm. That probably left enough opportunity for a cold-bug to strike. Ravi became ill as well during the week, same cold-bug kicked his butt and on Friday we all felt like we were good enough again to drive to his brother in Berlin, CT. Only Mahika, their daughter had a serious infection in both ears and we had to turn around. Since the weather was going to be really bad (again) it was probably a good thing, and we convinced Ravi's brother to stay at their place. Although that took a lot of convincing skills. Man did they really badly want to see us. That was really heart warming. During the car ride, Olcay became ill. Yup, that pretty much leaves me as the only person not catching anything during those 10 days. But on a different note, Olcay stayed flu'ish untill after Christmas.
The flight back was good enough as both Ray and Jay slept for a while. Fortunately they showed Cars on the inflight entertainment system so Jay was happy. Olcay didn't sleep at all, since she had to make sure that Ray wouldn't wake up. It all turned out to be a decent return home, but for the minor detail that the battery of our care was dead. Jay, probably, had turned on the little light in the back and that had drained the battery to a full stop. It took the ANWB, the Dutch roadside assistence, slightly under an hour to help us out and that was our cue to drive home and have closure for this vacation.

This time around I won't bore you with the rest of the proceedings in december. Well maybe I should as it isn't much, so here it goes.

As I said, Olcay caught the flu in the States and that only turned worse in the days after our vacation. Up to a point where she went to see the doctor. She had to try some steambaths etc for three days or else get some antibiotics. This because her whole head was congested and inflamed. This was right before Christmas. Good thing we bought some medicine in the US so there were enough pain relief goodies in the house. The day right after Christmas she called the doctor's office and got her antibiotics. Three pills and all was done. Right before New Years Eve she was up and ready to... comfort Jay while he was a bit scared of the firecrackers and other fireworks that 'made loud bangs'. Leaving me with 200+ firecrackers in the house...

On Christmas day Santa came along and surprised us all with loads of presents. Amina and her daughter where there as well. Christmas diner was really nice and the next day (2nd Christmas day as we call it in Holland) was as good, at my parents with the whole family. Apart from the illnesses and all we had a great December. Most of the time I was off and got to spend with the family.