Wednesday, March 26, 2008

How everything instantly started to suck! REALLY SUCK

So yeah, it all can really, REALLY, suck. Why I believe this to be true, well I know this to be true.

About a week and a half ago, my sister in law went into labor, 2 months early. Bindi, the baby girl's name, was born with the knowledge that she wouldn't survive. Deprived of oxygen while in the womb for too long did too much damage.
But however you go about it, whatever you try to rationalize this tragedy, which it really is, there is just no way to wrap your mind around it. The only explanation for what happened is 'fluke'. There is nothing that could've been done to prevent it from happening and I think, at least for me, that is the only reason why I can more or less accept it. The fact that she lived for almost a day. The fact that I've been put in the position to say my goodbyes to her, and not just me, but all around her. Makes it bearable, if such a thing can be bearable.
The next thing that really sucked was the immense grieve my brother and my sister in law where experiencing, as were the grandparents. All of them. Seeing their grieve is unbearable, especially since there is nothing one can do about it. There is no way to help them get around it. There is no way to help them wrap their heads around it. That, now, REALLY SUCKS.

Last week we cremated Bindi, in if there is such a thing, the cremation was wonderful. It was small and intimate as it should have been.

Bindi: In just a single moment, You earned a place in all our hearts.